Monday, March 23, 2015

Resentment Blurb Reveal Day

noun    re·sent·ment    \ri-ˈzent-mənt\

The act of hating – no, fucking loathing Dean Collins. (Yes, I’m well aware that’s not the actual definition, but it might as well be . . .)
It’s been ten years since we've seen each other and the feelings are still as strong.
I’m not going to bore you with all the details of how our love was once intoxicating, consuming, and perfect.
Because it was . . . until it wasn't.
I've been fine without him. I haven’t missed his cruelty, his coldness and his spite.

And after the ugliest breakup in the history of breakups, I forced myself to move on.

Year by year, the feelings I had for him slowly drifted away, but one encounter with him recently changed everything. One encounter made me realize how the heart doesn't forget shit, and how my mind is going to have to work overtime to make sure I never forget my definition of resentment.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

A Change of Plans . . .

Here's the thing, growing up, if someone were to ask me what my passion was, that one thing that I loved doing that gave my life purpose and direction? I would have said, "I have no clue."

I've always been the girl that did what was expected of me; that's probably why I've always been a good student, kept a steady job and stayed out of trouble (for the most part ;)).

The last two years have changed my perspective on my life completely. I'm starting to see how wrong I've been about what would make me happy.  I always thought I wanted a corporate job, to be some big shot executive with employees and an office in a high rise building. But now I know that isn't where my heart is anymore.

In a perfect world, I would love to wake up every day and write (how amazing would that be?). I don't have to be a bestselling author or at the top of every chart, I just want to be able to wake up and do what makes me happy every day. 

I know it's not going to be easy. It's going to take a lot of hard work, commitment, tears and frustration, but I'm determined to succeed and make this dream of mine come true...

Friday, March 6, 2015

My Boss is an Asshole

Everyone who knows me, knows I hate my job. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel blessed to have a job and the pay is decent compared to a lot of friends my age, and it's not necessarily the 'job' that I hate, it's the 'people' that I work with, especially my boss. He's a one of a kind -- no denying it, ASSHOLE. 

He literally doesn't do shit all day. He can always be found doing one of two things; 1). walking up and down the hallway talking on his cell phone, usually about something non-work related, or 2). standing in an employees office gossiping about another employee. Yes, you heard me right, he openly gossips/discusses employees in the office place with other employees. 

If all of that wasn't bad enough, he's unprofessional, rude and juvenile. I've never seen these qualities displayed by a person in management before. Maybe because this is my first full-time job. 

We had a staff meeting the other day and my senior manager encouraged the staff (which is only about 12 people) to speak openly about concerns and to address them now, and not complain later. I don't know where it comes from, but I've always been a person who needs to speak her mind and stand up for what I think is right. I'm trying to learn to choose my battles, but sometimes when it gets to the point of literally wanting to bash someones face in, you have to say FUCK IT and speak your peace.

I told them I had the same concerns as before but the issues still hadn't been resolved, so maybe I needed to be more specific. My issues were the following: 1). I don't want to be spoken to like I'm a child. I'm a 26 year-old adult with a husband and a mortgage, I think it's safe to say I'm not a child. 2). I think everyone should be treated equally. (a.k.a stop showing blatant favoritism) Whenever my senior manager goes out of town, there are a couple of people that are allowed to "work from home" or come into work in the middle of the work day, but still get paid the same as a person who comes in at 8:00 a.m sharp (myself). THAT SHIT IS NOT FAIR. 

My immature manager was offended and took my comments--and the comments of at least three other people (and trust me, they had A LOT to say), personally even though none of us said his name. But I'm pretty sure it's obvious who everyone has a problem with. 

He's a spiteful asshole who likes to make "threats" of punishment for having your own mind and expressing your own opinion. I'm now on his shit-list with a big target on my back. At first, I was feeling nervous, almost regretting saying anything, but then I thought about it. I didn't do anything wrong. I was tired of his shit and I said something about it. Now he'll be more cautious about what he says to me. If doing the right thing creates a divide, I welcome it. 

My new motto: NO BULLSHIT 2015 :-)